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Twitter Opera: Tuesday's Line-by-line Update

By Royal Opera House

18 August 2009 at 9.52am | Comment on this article

Good Morning Opera Tweeters

Here are the tweets as they have unfolded. Summary to follow in a moment.

We’ve have failed in our attempt to ensnare Bill/who is it now we shall maim and kill/we do not know but it shall be a thrill

The cats burts into a duet as William escapes, the melody mimicking William`s flight as they lament the loss of their prey

‘Helga!’ the stern nun summons her to the courtyard. ‘I hear you’re here to get away from love.’ Day dreams, ‘I loved once too..’

I loved him more than he me, he went away far away, away across the seas, so I came to this nunnery..’

Helga: ‘why didn’t you go after him?’ Stern Nun: ‘it was a fight against the birds – I swam as far as I could, but..’

‘..but I was not strong enough. I came here and mourned my loss. You mustn’t waste your life like I haaave..’

Helga: ‘So Corbin the King of the Birds is not to be trusted?’ Stern Nun: ‘I will leave that for you to decide’..

Stern Nun leaves Helga in the courtyard, as she contemplates and hums a woeful song :-D

Helga “I shall await the arrival of a lederhosen lover which may prove difficult in this Bolivian nunnery (sigh)”

Sister Mary Magpie explains that Helga can continue her biochemical work from the nunnery only if she agrees to…

..to work alongside their very special guest …

Good morrow good Helga, good Helga good morrow!

To our nunnery-laboratory you are welcome. I am Mother Superior and Chief Technician, and my name is…

Stern Nun and Sister Mary Magpie accompany Helga to the chapel where (shock) Basement Cat lies unconscious but alive!

“He can hear you; speak to him Helga. Although he cannot wake, his mind is powerful – he can help you”

A Million Penguins look upwards to the heavens (and fall over) as a divine presence descends – sings. “I have dimensions, three.”

The divine presence continues “I am the very model of a fully rounded character.” Penguins chorus “she is so very rounded.”

at this spectacle Stern Nun, Sister Mary swoon, however Helga attempts to join the chorusing penguins

however her singing is scratchy and out of tune, and also strangely off pitch

at this spectacle Stern Nun & Sister Mary swoon, however Helga attempts to join the chorusing penguins, not knowing the words…

Unfortunately, her voice is offensively scratchy and off key, and peculiarly high pitched

Basement cat, in an unconcious trance mews: “it appears that the combination of the penguins’ and Helga’s vocal emissions have

caused a time loop, a perpetual cycle of swooning, singing and screetching that can only be broken by…”

Suddenly a sweet scent in the air.

…who fancies Helga and thus Corbin for some reason feels the need to eliminate William and dramatically she does…

Helga leans in to BC “I hear him, Sister. He seems to be talking about penguins. What can this mean, Sister?”

Our habit is black and white, my daughter.”

Helga cannot calm her mind, nor escape from thinking of William . Her mind is in torment. She must be rid of him for good.

A plan begins – William the bird; Basement Cat – her only part would be to ensure the two met and let nature take its own course

Helga, suddenly seeing the nuns properly “This must mean, between the basement and the ceiling there are nun but us.”

Helga: And now to find another cell / the one where mother superior doth dwell

Helga: Ah, here she is. (knocks on door). “Enter!” sounds from within…

Helga: Mother Superior – I must find my laboratory!

Mother Superior: Down the corridor, third on the right dearie!

Helga: No, Mother, my lab-o-ratory…

Mother Superior: We have a very nice Oratory, just down the corridor, fourth on the right…

Helga: No, Mother, somewhere I can go to do my experiments…

Mother S: I think you’re confusing us with a University, dearie. What’s with all this talking? Let’s have an aria!

In the nunnery, Helga (or whatever her name is) has access to a biochemistry lab and wants to brew a potion to lure her love..mf

A desperate yearning, unrequited. I long to be closer to my love, See how strong my passion burns, If only it could be returned

I need a token from my lover, something he wears or treasures well. I will use it for the brew, weave with it a magic spell

If I brew a special potion, who knows what I set in motion? My feelings for him are intense, I’m ready to take the consequence!

Helga hoped to find peace in the nunnery, but to no avail.

Daybreak, time to wake. Splash water on my face, Wash away the shameful thoughts that chase me thru the night: unclean, obscene

Pleasures of the flesh: bodies enmesh, Nudes recline, limbs entwine, how I long to make him mine.

My passion warms me in the cold. If sister Agnes knew, how she would scold. Sometimes my thoughts are scary, best say Hail Mary

Can’t stop thinking of his smile, his face, even when I’m saying Grace, it makes my senses reel. How can I help the way I feel?

In the nunnery, Helga (or whatever her name is) has access to a biochemistry lab and wants to brew a potion to lure her love..

A desperate yearning, unrequited. I long to be closer to my love, See how strong my passion burns, If only it could be returned

I need a token from my lover, something he wears or treasures well. I will use it for the brew, weave with it a magic spell

If I brew a special potion, who knows what I set in motion? My feelings for him are intense, I’m ready to take the consequence!

Helga can find no peace in the nunnery, she thinks only of her unrequited love

William departed for the “Balm of Bray”, for he heard there he would find Jacki and the Unicorn Lord.

Daybreak, time to wake. Splash water on my face, Wash away the shameful thoughts that chase me thru the night: unclean, obscene

Pleasures of the flesh: bodies enmesh, Nudes recline, limbs entwine, how I long to make him mine.

Can’t stop thinking of his smile, his face, even when I’m saying Grace, it makes my senses reel. How can I help the way I feel?

William departed for the “Balm of Bray”, for he heard there he would find Jacki and the Unicorn Lord.

If you listen to whispers, you will not hear screams.

Leadership: cedeing control seeding control growing performance harvesting excellence.

To Tweet / two Tweet / too Tweeeet!

the talking sword wants to be a chef’s knife.

Helga realised she was becoming delerious. She focused her mind: “My feelings shouldn’t matter; reunite Hans & Will!”

With her mind clear, Helga returned to the inner chapel to commune with Basement Cat. She took her notebook with her.

I want to let it all out,but I dont know what it is.If you love me,help me.

Basement Cat looked serene (with tubes and monitors attached). Helga closed her eyes and concentrated.

Helga, inspired by a particularly vibrant sunrise, returns to her tattered diary, which contains her aunt’s own convent story.

Basement Cat’s words resonated in Helga’s mind: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”. It was all so clear now

All Helga had to do was find the bush with the two birds, then and only then would she succeed

Helga set off on her adventure, after pulling on her signature purple raincooat and polka dot boots.

O that wings of gold would let silver stories unfold Helga Helga says Eurydice lead me to the cage of stories untold

With Basement Cat, her trusty chemistry set and her aunt’s diary in her bag, Helga boarded a train to Umberworld.

Meanwhile, at the gates of the ‘Balm of Bray’, Hans wonders how to make William Human again. He feeds him birdseed.

Our love william is as sweet as chocolate

In the chapel of the nunnery: Helga has left. B-Cat just lies there. C-Cat appears:

C-Cat: Up to your evil tricks again, I see. This good house is not a place for you to be.

B-Cat (by thought; laughing): I am dead, fun still to be had, as I earlier said. You’ve seen nothing yet.

C-Cat: You worry me, you worry me so. But my passion for good cannot let you go. — B-Cat: I know. I SO knoooooooooooooooow!

*Enter Nutella, a 6’2″ blonde who is part Viking, part Amazon, & all Raymond Chandler bishop-window-kicker* She…

opens her ruby lips & sings: How is it that my men are birds/ for this sort of thing a dame has no words FML

With FML meaning ‘Fillet Mia Longo’, meaning ‘My Man Has Mutated Into A Bird, Something Is Fishy Here & I Am Longing’

“Fille-e-e-e-et mia longo/My man has left me now/ Why did he do me wrongo/ He’s a bird, the bloody cow.

Fille-e-e-et mia longo/ My beloved flew away/I crave his wings so strongo/But people say he’s also gay.

Fille-e-et, fillet mia longo/ I ho-o-o-pe he hears my tragic songo/Fille-e-e-t, fillet mia longo-/I’m getting a cat.

Fille-e-et, fillet mia longo/Oh no-o-o- & I just bought a thongo!/Fille-e-e-t, fillet mia longo-/The traitorous rat.

‘Fillet Mia Longo’(Aria): A lady’s not a girl/Without her man/He flies off like a bird?!/(And he hates bran!)

Fille-e-e-e-et mia longo/ I can’t mate with a tern/ I’m moving to the Congo,/And might become a fern.

Fille-e-e-t, fillet mia longo/(And now, enter the bongos)[sung]/ Fille-e-e-e-t, fillet/mia longo-/Imagi-ine that.

Fille-e-et, fillet mia longo/My lo-o-o-o-ve, hit,my,heart,like,Pong-o/Fille-e-t,fillet mia longo-/I hope u go splat!!

Helga turns off her iPod and fumbles in her bag. She holds the comatose B-Cat aloft: “Next stop the Balm of Bray…”

Helga’s cell door opens, enter Mother Superior, a fully rounded character of ample proportions, intelligent, witty, mezzosoprano

Mother Superior: “Welcome! How delightful to have such an accomplished scientist amongst us at last! Can you make decent tea?”

“who is that girl sitting near the birdbath? her worn out habit makes me laugh… what is her secret?”

Upon arrival, Helga asks a porter, “Have you heard of the man that is bird and his lover who is like no other?”

She takes a deep breath and falls asleep.

Wilfred (the porter) to Helga: “You’ll find them in the main square, but sadness is all you’ll find there”

Helga asks Wilfred: “Why, has there been a tragic accident with sandwiches?!?”

Suddenly Tobermory enters in a cloud of smoke with an evil meow, saying “Oh how wondrous is the art of fowl lobotomy…”

You are the one I have been looking for,searching for years almost gave up my hope,but now I know.you’ll nver let me heart sore

Helga: “Tobermory…we meet again at last. You underestimated me before and so shall you again.”

Enter Mother Superior, with axe: “Evil feline, o devil so furry/I’ll end your life, thou fiend Tobermory” She swings axe at cat

And now Mother Superior is paralyzed! What’s happened?!

Helga (to mother s): “wait! Stop, you can’t! Tobermory he’s…my son!” She falls to knees. Mother S is flab’gasted!

Helga: “Tobermory was not always feline, accidentally on a potion he did dine, and now lives he has nine”

Mother Superior gasps “No I cannot believe this lie. Tobermory must now die!” She grins evilly and swings the axe again!!!

Helga screams “NO!” She dives in front of her beloved Tobermory, and looses a pinky finger to the axe.

a 30 piece orchestra marches in as helga starts singing in the pain & anguish

Then suddenly, Tobermory rears up on his hind legs. “I was not always feline, and I am still not feline.” He begins to change.

As Tobermory changes chorus of birds scattered through audience sing ‘Once was fiend/once was foe/transmogrify/the mog we know!’

Helga beings to climb “I need to end my awful plight, i have lost the will and fight, all i crave for is a single silent night”

T “Mummy mummy why leave me now, you are not ready to take your final bow”

Mother S “I have had with this lark” grabbing the axe again “I shall commit thy to the dark”

still climbing H “I shall climb down for your single wish” Mother S throwing the axe at H “Ha plummet to your final dish”

the axe misses, H slips “my grip is slipping, I have been foolish in this life to care more for science than those that love”

She falls at this moment the birdman swoops in catching H “I shall save you for one last time, is that the clock i hear chime”

Mother S “Why do my plans all fail” in walks a police lady “your under arrest, off to jail”

“you shalt not take me down, i will run from this godly town” runs off stage.

birdman descends with H “my wings weaken I must drop you now” H “if you do it will be my final bow”

bridman “too late my grip has gone” bang she hits the floor “sorry fair lady but your has story has shone”

T runs over to H crying he sings “your life has been cut short, i shall avenge your death with one final epic eternal retort”

T “I must go and seek, to kill the weak, the one beast of flight and untame, the dragon from the north cave of Ellishame”

But wait, Helga moves! She extends a frail hand towards her bag “Basement Cat, hear me now”

The bag bursts into blue flame, a beam of light engulfs Helga and wings appear from her back. She flies after William

the cat has gone, brandishing the the axe Helga drags herself across the stage in pursuit singing “I will not, i will not die”

Axe aloft, Helga takes flight: “A bird in the HANS is worth two in the bush – finally I understand”.

T approaches the cave “what lurks in this dark evil chasm” a burst of flames erupt from the cave “that made my brave core spasm”

Tobermory: “Man or feline, there is nothing so fine as love can define – good luck mother”

T approaches the cave “what lurks in this dark evil chasm” a burst of flames erupt from the cave “that made my brave core spasm”

t shouts “hark fine beast I need your aid, to cause havok and chaos on a heavenly parade” More fire comes out of cave

T: “It must be some ungodly demon, who focuses on the wayward freeman…

demon speaks in a loud low tone “you awake me from this pillar of death and tomb, addrress me by name and curse… Fraberoom”

In the orchestra, some kind of frightening interlude takes place using the traditional “Dies Irae” theme.

Orchestral interlude ends with a very high note (representing a scream) being sung by an unseen female character…

T “you are no curse, you are a blessing to anoint the wounds of my revenge,Similar pain you feel so come on and yourself forshow”

(this being said underneath the tones of the scream, which is still going)

Fraberoom roars “You know of my wretched past”, lights dim, flicker red and orange to represent fire.

Enter Celine, the evil-genius female feline (culprit of the scream): “Noooooooooo! Forswear this other trickster here and now!”

T “Your bashment is caused by Corbon commander of crows the battle was long bloody to thro it ended by wings ripped and shred”

f “I AM FORSAKEN AND BROKEN”

Celine: “For reasons beneficial to all inhabitants of this world!”

C: “Frarebroom, I will be forced to use my genius to destroy the hold you have on this poor sot whom you would employ!”

T “I ignore your wicked spells, you ancient witch of spiteful forgotten era, i need this warrior to battle those i want dead”

Roaring, Fraberoom emerges out of the cave. a scrarred old dragon his scales that used to be gold and copper are now faded to tin

T jumps on Fs back,bass drums pound in time with his wings,T and f sing “bringer of war and death i shall have my revenge”

C grabs fs tail and cackles “I shall stop this absurdity even if i have to lay down my own life” leave stage (t+f sing on)

Corbin roosts in a tree with his minions and the sun setting behind him “what beauty it is to be alive”

Meanwhile, Hans asleep in forest, Will has flown the coop & …

Ghost of Alfred Hitchcock in forest (Bryn Terfel!):…

Oh say did that 4-leg/ged critter survive? (Star Spangled Banner tune ‘yet wave’ line)

…By the skin of its teeth in the 9th of its lives! (Stratosphere on ‘teeth’

Ghost of Alfred Hitchcock (tune O Sole Mio): …

…Oh Holy Mackerel!! What’s happened here? The Fishsword’s length now/ exceeds a spear’s!

Ghost (cont.): I think a different kettle/ of fish entirely may soon appear!

(This must be the Fat Lady and if she is about to sing, is the end is nigh?? Looks peckish and Hans is snack she fancies!)

The Fat Lady sings to Hans (The Flower Duet tune or repeating bits of it, the experts’ll have to work it out):

Sole Meuniere, paella, Cajun gumbo, shrimp & mussels, lobster, cockles, breaded haddock, pickled herrings & a stew…

Fried octopus, fish casserole, Oysters Rockefeller, cod & chips, a kipper, scallops, calamari, not a single one will do!

They can keep them! I won’t eat them! Such a tender morsel of a man I can’t resist a little nibble out of you!

(As 1st) I’ve had enough/ of fishy stuff! If I see another tuna sandwich I will beat a hasty path to Timbuktu!

(Rpt tune)I’ve had my fill! Fish makes me ill! Never in a month of Sunday dinners will I go back to the seafood counter’s queue!

I must have you! Let me taste you! Doesn’t really matter if you’re cooked or raw I’d love to take a bite out of you!

(As 1st) Don’t fight with me! Won’t hurt a bit!…

… Just a sample, just a little speck is all I want, I want, I want to take a bite out of you!

(Rpt tune) You scrumptious thing! Mouthwatering!…

…Back to sleep now, just relax, I promise I’ll be quick, don’t worry, I won’t bite off more than I can chew!

I am drooling! Tummy’s growling! Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy you!

Hans grabs shard of ruined Fishsword & lunges, the Fat Lady shimmies aside & laughs carelessly, Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha etc.

Ghost: He’ll put someone’s eye out with that thing if he’s not careful! His own!

Amahl: I have here in the pocket of my white lab coat the last few drops of Helga’s potion in a vial….

(Cont.) Amahl: The bomb’s blast will have altered its properties. I cannot say what effect it may now have…

… Should I hurl it and find out?

Ghost: Now is your moment, my countertenor friend! (Ghost retreats)

(Cont.) Amahl removes cap of vial and throws its contents at the Fat Lady who screams operatically (Cue smoke machine!)…

…She freezes like a statue, & has to stay like that as Amahl (Greg Pritchard!) steps forward & sings to Hans (Barcarolle tune)…

Amahl sings: I for one will cross in future several lanes of traffic/ If I spot a seafood restaurant so that I’ll avoid it

Amahl (cont.) For a hero you’re a pretty ineffective fencer. May I suggest a safer job – a bank? Or selling menswear?

At least you weren’t the feast of this creature in sequins, but now you’ve lost your Tweetie.

Amahl (cont) She got her PhD in Idiocy! You must agree, you must agree. Ah! Ah! Ah! (Hans exits in panic in search of lost Will)

Amahl (alone with frozen Fat Lady) sings a bit more of Barcarolle tune

Amahl: Scientific research is no longer my cup of tea. A waiter in a posh hotel – now there’s the job for me! (Hums)

(The Fat Lady suddenly ‘thaws’ and comes back to life, blinking and looking surprised.)

The Fat Lady: Oh, is this Covent Garden? I must have slept through my stop!

The Fat Lady to Amahl: You’re a cutie! Don’t look so nervous, I won’t eat you! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! …

…Bye bye! Bye bye! (With flick of sequined tail the Fat Lady shimmies offstage)

‘we shall reject apathy to impress the one armed collie and learn a new word everyday. so here concludes our fair tale of twit”

Meanwhile Mother S is hiding behind rock “I will not be caught, for angered with frought, I need that scientist Helga in short

Corbin flies down to rock circled by his flock “I hear you seek the one with the new beak, the birdwoman has flown to umberworld

MS “umberworld world what a ridiculous notion have you been drinking Helga’s potion”

C “the land of the birds it is truely named, you should feel ashamed”

C continues “Do you want help or not godly creature, I can become you new gdly teacher” flock squawk in unison “join us” rpt

MS “a message from god this must be, I shall join you, fly me, fly me fly me to umberworld”

C “I agree on one condition, that you join my flock with no fruitions,we shall do in one mighty purge with a swoop and surge”

Like A Shooting Star, The Illumined Mind, It Gives The Moon Its’ Shine

William lands in a clearing and, cursing nature, demands to be made man again. He begins tearing at his feathers.

As the sun begins to set, William sings himself to sleep. Birds settle on trees around him & listen solemnly.

And while mad men cry of lost feasts and wring their briny hands, there is Helga in her cloister. Is it God she hears, or birds?

Helga: “I am so uneasy, my stomach is queasy, there is something about convent life I don’t like ….”

Helga cont: “Those habits and wimples, they give a girl pimples! There’s something about convent life I don”t like.”

Helga: “why did I not think this out? I wanted quiet no doubt. But what made me think I cld do lab work in here? It’s SO so drear

Helga:”I must leave, I must go. I miss William so. And the birds, their sweet tweets, their twitters & peeps to them I must go”

But when Helga returns from the convent, she finds Hans hanging around William. Also a lovely actress in stilettos

The darkness of desires the true form of love where are we to go in this dark world the birds and swords

The darkness of desires the true form of love where are we to go in this dark world the birds and swords

the infinities of desires the true wisdom at will the red sun and moon that shine together on the blue sky










By Royal Opera House

18 August 2009 at 9.52am

This article has been categorised Opera and tagged Twitterdämmerung

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