10 August 2009 at 6.10pm | Comment on this article
Putting aside one or two contributions about Dr Doolittle, Morocco and a possibly copyright-infringing foray into The Sound of Music, the story so far is given below. Also, if we can get to the end of Act One, Scene Two without any further god-related violence, then I would be very appreciative (@ferawontshutup - you know who you are).
Act One, Scene Two
William awakens, and hears the tell-tale tap-tap tap of someone outside his room twittering on their phone
And with that he climbed a nearby tree and resolved to dwell amongst the leaves for the rest of his days
Hans (sword in hand, lest you forget): "how can I reach my love in a tower so high? If I was a bird, then I could fly. We aren't meant to be apart? Oh my breaking heart"
The ginger cat sings an aria urging people never to stop feeding the pigeons, for they are his food
William: "Am I to die in this forsaken tower? Am I to die as revenge for the birds?"
"...and thus the valiant Will vainly woed discontent in the winter of his sorrows".
Cat sings: Fill them up with bird seed, plump as they can be; they will not suspect they will end up inside of me!
Hans declares he must find the Surrealist Fish Sword, to distract the birds and rescue William. Where can it be?
So, the pressing issues as of 7:10pm GMT are:
- William is in the tower, Hans has gone to rescue him but can't quite place his Surrealist Fish Sword.
- The Woman with No Name (possibly called Iris - thanks @MarianneLOL) has gone back to her lab, but perhaps we'll deal with her in Scene Three.
- The cat would appear to be stage right, making a sotto voce contribution.