11 August 2011 at 4.27pm | Comment on this article
Rules of the game:
brenbaritone if the object of your affections turns you down, you must kill her. Sorry dems the rules
potterwigham hiding behind a sofa or in a cupboard is compulsory in comic opera.
potterwigham titular females wind up dead!
TightsAndTiaras never whistle!
Random_Opera In fact, just assume that whoever you talk to is someone else in disguise
MarkStamps Love *always* hurts
MarkStamps Repeat everything important 4 times
minvera69 Implausibly long hair is always a good look
Belle_Vespa there is no such thing as too much make up :)
fiddlewifey - if you are young and beautiful, you haven't got long to live...
erikannotations Always cross-dress.
Georgedoesmusic Dressing up is a really, really bad idea.
fiddlewifey - Don't trust anyone with a beard
KayGardiner That cough could be more than a cold. Get it looked at.
HatstandOpera Sopranos please note: Cough Act 1 = Coffin Act 3
gem5ie contracting tuberculosis in no way affects your ability to sing
kerennicol While charming, a muff is not an effective cure for TB
_Polyhymnia Getting mixed up in the affairs of gods will come to a bad end
HenryScarlett Avoid falling for your brother's lover. It'll only end in tears
MusicMagazine Czech? Female? Thinking of getting married? Do check out the mother-in-law first…
kealycopy If you've got a jealous girlfriend, don't paint pictures of other women.
toastedtofu Don't disobey your parents, it will only end in tears/death/tragedy
kealycopy Careful, if you take a lover it usually turns out to be your husband or wife in disguise!
SiLondon Never plan a fake execution ” <especially not in partnership with a bent cop.
nfmusic Giants read the small print.
kealycopy Locking up your daughter never ends well.
NLebrecht never buy snake oil from a lyric tenor
NLebrecht keep household staff out of your marital difficulties
oliverjmc Trapped? Suffocating? You should sing for a little bit.
fionalovesopera If your husband is falsely imprisoned, dressing up as a man is definitely the only way to save him.
OldSussexStud Girls, avoid the bloke in the castle
nfmusic That boy on the beach is just not into you.
JJAndrewes Study your family tree carefully before thinking of hooking up with any attractive strangers...
3rdunkel A tree can be a handy place to leave a sword.
alexrossmusic Double-check carefully before throwing your enemy's baby onto the fire.
stu_melling Never invite a statue to dinner.
Divas and daggers:
Calorine1 The man you just stabbed was probably your brother..you always find this out too late
jon_shaw If you get stabbed you will always have at least 5 minutes to sing an aria before you die
ed_nights @RoyalOperaHouse Magic IS real; love always hurts; and it's not over until the diva's had her death aria
MarkStamps Don't leave a dagger on your table before laughing at the heroine
Cross dressing (and mezzos):
HatstandOpera Never count on getting the man if you're a mezzo, unless you're Spanish, and even then he'll turn nasty eventually
fraser_riddell If a woman's wearing trousers she's really a boy (except in Fidelio)
SteveChaff100 If you are morally outraged by cross-dressing, avoid anything written before the 19th century.
Mandospizza Women make better men.
sohothedog Actually, that clown IS trying to kill you.